The Revenge of Professor Chaos
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Butters has had enough of his life.  So he's going to make everyone in South Park pay for all the trouble he went through all his life.  But how is he going to do it?
1. Butters Gets Grounded

**This is my very first South Park fic. I do ****not**** own South Park. I ****do**** own this fan fic, though.**

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The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Gets Grounded

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Butters hopped off the school bus and walked home. He was happy, because even though it was a Monday, his class got no homework because Mr Garrison was hung-over. The little blond-haired boy opened the front door of his house and walked in, closing the door behind him.

Butters walked over to his mam who was reading a newspaper on the couch. "Hello Mom!" he said, happily.

Mrs Stotch looked at her son and in a stern tone she said: "Butters, you'd better go upstairs to your father's office where he is. He is not very pleased with you."

In an instant his smile transformed into a frown. His irises shrinking to create more room for his enlarging pupils. He was scared. He knew very well that he was going to get grounded by his cruel father, as this has occurred far too many times for an innocent little boy. But Butters was still scared. He looked down in horror as his feet were disobediently climbing up the stairs. He felt that he was being dragged into the fiery pit of Hell as he was walking towards the interrogation room, (AKA: Mr Stotch's office).

"BUTTERS!" snarled the creepy voice of some evil spirit as Butters entered the office.

"Y-yes, s-sir?" Butters stammered.

"BUTTERS!" his dad said for the second time. "I heard that your teacher was hung-over when I got a call at work from Mr Mackey! How do you justify this?"

Butters was too shocked to answer his abusive father's question. His cheeks formed waterfalls.

"Well?" Mr Stotch demanded. "Answer me at **once**, young man, or you're **grounded**!"

"B-b-but, t-there w-was nothing I-I could do about it," Butters tried to explain. His father rudely cut him off.

"Young man, you do not care about the safety of your school, so therefore you are grounded!" snarled Mr Stotch. "Now go to your room! I am fed up of your inexcusable behaviour! Do you hear me?"

"Y-yes, sir," Butters sniffled.

"**Now** go before I ground you **twice**!" Mr Stotch ordered.

Butters obeyed. He ran to his room and collapsed onto his bed. He burst into tears. It's not fair, thought Butters, why oh why was I born to them?

Butters spent all night under the covers crying. He knew it was not wise to come down for dinner as he wasn't called, rendering the poor child hungry and thirsty. Worst of all, Butters was bursting to go to the toilet, but his parents laid booby traps outside his bedroom door to alert him should he leave his room. But after spending most of his life so far in his room, he has already become the expert in holding his urine in for so long.

* * *

The next day at school, Mr Garrison came in. This time, he was sober.

"Now children, I'm terribly sorry for coming in half drunk yesterday," said Mr Garrison as the class sat down in their seats. "I was out drinking on Sunday night because I was depressed when I heard that Mr Slave and Big Gay Al conceived three children through surrogacy. Now enough of this b******* and let's start the day with Geography."

As Mr Garrison was making his way to the board, he heard a knock on the door. It was the school councillor, Mr Mackey.

"Sorry, Mr Garrison, but could I talk to Butters Stotch for two seconds, please, ummk?" said Mr Mackey. He turned his head towards Butters and said in a tone similar Mr Stotch's tone: "BUTTERS! You came in late this morning, is that right? Get outside the door, NOW!"

Butters was shocked. He **did** have a reason for being late. His parents scowled him for wetting his bed the night before and made him wash the covers **without** using the washing machine and drier. However, aware that Mr Mackey was not going to give a shite, Butters simply followed the school councillor out the door for more unfair punishment.

The students listened as Mr Mackey yelled and screamed at Butters. A minute later, Butters walked into the room in disgrace. Mr Mackey followed him.

"Now you get back to your desk, ummk?" hissed Mr Mackey. "If you do not show up for detention after school, then don't bother your lazy-assed p***y showing up for school **tomorrow**, is that clear?"

Butters nodded. Mr Mackey left the room.

Mr Garrison walked up to Butters' desk. "Next time, get to school **early**," he said, sternly.

Butters had had enough. "F*** you!" he snapped at Mr Garrison.

Every student in the class gasped in unison.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Mr Garrison demanded.

"F*** you!" Butters snapped again.

The whole class gasped again.

"THAT'S **IT**!" bellowed Mr Garrison. He pointed towards the door. "GET YOUR F****** TAIL DOWN TO PRINCIPAL VICTORIA'S OFFICE, **NOW**!"

"**NO**!" screamed Butters.

Mr Garrison was getting impatient. "**NOW**!"

So was Butters. "**NEVER**!"

Mr Garrison was finally at the deep end with Butters. He grabbed Butters firmly by the arm and dragged him kicking and screaming out the door.

The room was silent. Then all of a sudden, the whole class burst out in laughter.

"Ha-ha, what a legend," chuckled Stan.

"I know," Kyle chuckled back. "He's even **cooler** than that fat-ass sitting' next to us."

"Yeah," chuckled Cartman. Then he paused. "AY!" he snapped.

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**I presume that you guys are wondering what will happen next to poor Butters in the next chapter. Don't go away, 'cause we're gonna find out soon.**


	2. Butters Gets Sick and Tired of It

**I'm back and I'm ready! I am also ready to remind you all that I do not own South Park.**

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The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Gets Sick and Tired of It

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Butters comes home from detention to two livid faces.

Two **familiar** livid faces.

"BUTTERS!" snapped Butters' dad. "THERE YOU ARE! EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DID DO IN CLASS **THIS** TIME!"

Butters glared angrily at his parents. "NONE OF YER DANG BUSINESS, DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?" he snapped back.

"BUTTERS, DON'T YOU **EVER** TALK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME?" hissed Mrs Stotch.

"Oh yeah? Well, he **always** talks like that to **me**," whined Butters, "and I don't see you getting pissed off with him! But when **I** do it, I end up paying it the rest of my freaking life!"

"That's it, young man, you're grounded!" snarled Butters' dad.

"HELLO? I already **am** grounded thanks to you, old man!" Butters snarled back.

Mr and Mrs Stotch were horrified. Their own son speaking like that to them? Well, in my opinion, they deserved it. In fact, they shouldn't even be having custody of Butters, nor any other child in the world. Butters would probably be better off raised by **Kenny's** parents. However, although Butters' parents are constantly grounding their son, arrogantly believing that he deserves it, not even **they** would expect their child to behave like that (I would).

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It was not long before Butters found himself confined to his room, again. Unusually, Butters didn't cry his eyes dry this time. Instead, he just looked out his bedroom window. All he did was get more pissed off.

Most importantly, Butters could hardly take it anymore. All he wanted was a safe home headed by two loving parents like most other children he knew. Unfortunately, it was too much to ask in Butters' case. All he could do was take what he could get or go and find an orphanage.

Suddenly, Butters thought for a second. Sure, most children would hate to live in an orphanage. **Especially** those who have lived there for some time. But what about the Stotch home. At least children living in **most** orphanages never get grounded for reasons they couldn't control or minor mistakes which all children do. At least these children are not expected to call the male members of staff "sir" and at least the children are heard. Butters, on the other hand, didn't have those luxuries. Maybe Butters could run away to an orphanage and stay there until a **real** parent would come and claim him. Unfortunately, there is no descent orphanage in South Park, and besides, all of the adult residents of South Park are significantly inferior to their children, so why would he even bother?

Butters sighed. He looked around his room. Everything he had owned had been taken away from him. And if you think this is injustice, then please see those child-hating bastards downstairs. But what was in that untouched box sitting there in Butters' closet? Butters sauntered over to the box. He lifted open the lid.

All of a sudden, Butters had a brilliant, spectacular idea. Why hadn't he thought of that before? Butters picked up the box and spilt all the contents onto the floor. He closed of his closet and he comes out as...

..._**PROFESSOR CHAOS**_: RINGER OF DESTRUCTION AND...AND...Ah screw it, I don't find Professor Chaos's quotes one bit interesting. All he ever does when he is dressed in his babyish costume is what a toddler would do out of curiosity rather than out of vengeance. Feckin' eejit!

Let's just stick to the script. Butters finally decides to do the right thing and disobey his parents by climbing out the window and escaping.

But where will he go?

* * *

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were out in the basketball court playing basketball – well, technically, they were having a row.

"I told ya Jews shouldn't be playing' basketball!" remarked Cartman.

"Shut up, Fatass!" snapped Kyle. "At least **Jews** are not as bad at this game as fat pieces a' crap like you!"

"Oh yeah, well screw **you** guys, I'm going' home!" scowled Cartman, sticking up his middle finger at Kyle, Stan and Kenny.

The boys were relieved when Cartman left. Why oh why were they friends with such a fat ass? All he ever does is rip on Kyle for being Jewish, rip on Kenny for being poor, and rip on Stan for being friends with Kyle and Kenny. Cartman arrogantly makes up lies to justify doing this.

The boys resume playing basketball (and this is the first time they've **truly** enjoyed playing it since they started hanging out with Cartman) until they heard a familiar cry for help.

"Dude, did you hear something?" asked Stan.

Kyle shrugged. "Maybe it was just the wind, or something," he replied.

"Or maybe it was **Cartman's** wind," muffled Kenny, to which his friends replied with laughter.

The boys stopped laughing and continued on with the game. The cry reoccurred.

"Who is making that noise?" asked Kyle. "Do you think we should check it out?"

"Well it better not be Cartman pulling pranks on us again, or we will break his fat ass and teach him a lesson he'd never forget!" said Stan.

And so the boys stopped playing began to follow those repeated signals in distress until a horrible sight had met their eyes. The person who was making those annoying sounds was **not** a person at all. It was **Cartman**, who was sitting on a tree.

"GOD DAMN IT, CARTMAN!" shrieked an angered Kyle.

"HA! HA! HA! I TRICKED YOU GUYS!" jeered Cartman.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, FATASS!" snapped Stan. "AND HOW THE HELL DID SOMEONE AS FAT AS YOU GET UP THAT TREE?"

Cartman stopped jeering. "AY!" he snapped.

"Let's go, our parents our probably worried sick about us by now," said Kyle, getting ready to leave.

"Yeah, and Cartman can go home when the tree can longer support his fat ass," muffled Kenny. Stan and Kyle laughed.

"Oh, oh **yeah**?" said Cartman, giving his 'friends' the finger. "Well screw **you** guys, I'm going home."

Stan, Kyle and Kenny ignored Cartman's angry remarks and continued walking home. Cartman climbed down the tree and miraculously made it to the ground without getting hurt. He got ready to go home, but after walking ten paces he was stopped in his tracks.

What stood in his way was...

..."Butters, get the f*** outta my way," sighed Cartman.

"It's not Butters," hissed Butters, or whatever he wants to be called. "I am **Professor Chaos**!"

"Whatever just get outta my way," sighed Cartman, shoving Butters, er, I mean, Professor Chaos, out of his way.

Professor Chaos collapsed to the ground. He got up and mopped the dirt off his costume. He glared at Cartman as he made his way out of the park in the sunset.

Very well, thought Professor Chaos. Enjoy your little walk. But you are no match for **PROFESSOR CHAOS'S EVIL POWERS!**

Suddenly, Butters' parents showed up.

"BUTTERS!" snapped Butters' dad.

Butters turned around and looked at the anger in his father's face. Then he turned back towards the reader.

"Oh fiddlesticks," said a scared Butters.

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**Look forward to Chapter 3 for even ****more**** fun!**


	3. Butters Becomes PROFESSOR CHAOS!

**I do not own South Park**

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The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Becomes **PROFESSOR CHAOS**!

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"BUTTERS!" screamed Butters' dad. "HOW DARE YOU BREAK OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GROUNDED? YOU THINK YOU ARE SMARTER THAN US, YA LIT'L PUNK? HUH? **ANSWER** ME!"

Butters didn't answer. As a matter of fact, he **couldn't** answer. How could he if his dad kept washing his mouth with soap (which is **obviously** a cruel thing to do). But being a total retard, it never occurred to Mr Stotch that Butters can't talk if he's choking on a substance which could** kill** him if swallowed.

"THAT IS IT!" howled Butters dad, believing that he has had enough (well actually, he hasn't). He gave poor Butters a box in the head. Butters would've cried if he hadn't had soap in his mouth. "YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF YOUR **LIFE**! AND I'M TAKING AWAY THAT GAY COSTUME AND THROWING IT IN THE FURNACE! AND THAT IS WHERE **YOU** WILL GO IF YOU CONTINUE TO CAUSE TROUBLE! YOU GOT IT?"

Despite his severe injuries, Butters managed to force himself to nod in agreement.

"GOOD, NOW YOU CLEAN YOURSELF UP, YOU FILTHY CHILD, OR YOU WILL BE GROUNDED IN THE **AFTERLIFE**!" threatened Butters' dad.

Butters was horrified. He cried as he cleared his mouth with cold water and took a hot shower. After his shower he plastered a bandage over the wound. How could his dad do this to him? He is not to be surprised after all this shit he had been through, but he may be shocked that his dad could think he has permanent control over him.

As Butters changed into his pyjamas, he began to reflect on his childhood. He remembered how his parents grounded him for making faces when in reality, this was how he **looked**. His mam once tried to kill him and then kill herself because of her own homophobia and his dad's bisexuality. His parents hired some poor, feckin' eejit to disguise himself up as Butters' future self. His dad sent him off to some camp run by mentally ill staff when his dad thought he was 'bi-curious', when in **actual** fact it was Cartman doing adult stuff to a blindfolded Butters. His parents even threatened to ground him for things he couldn't control, such as for being the least attractive kid to the ladies or for having nightmares.

Butters had had enough. He was sick and tired of his no-good, child-hating, child-abusing, ageist, goody-goody, mentally ill parents, who **obviously** should not be having custody of children. Many children in the world are born unlucky. In fact, millions of children are living lives that are far worse than _his_. But that doesn't mean that Butters has to put up with his parents.

Fortunately for Butters, he is not the **only** one in the world who thinks that way. He recalls a few months back, when his family was on _World's Strictest Parents USA_, and his parents took in two unruly teenagers for one week. Although the two teenagers both changed their ways and learnt to show respect and be good people, it was not because of Butters' parents. What happened was that the teenagers went insane halfway through the week because of the unacceptable discipline they have received at the hands of his parents. The camera crew **had **to intervene so they could offer the victims weeks and weeks of therapy free of charge before their parents could come and pick them up. Butters' parents blamed Butters for the mess and grounded him for a week. But the worst part of this experience was that Child Services could not be arsed to come and rescue the poor child.

Butters had to come up with a scheme to get back at his parents. He knew that plans that involve smearing the walls of the house with faeces or tricking the police into believing that his parents molested him would backfire, as they would **only** change his parents' behaviour in the short term. Maybe Butters' could run away, but where would he live? Besides, his parents would probably track him down and withdrew more privileges from him. Earlier on in the fan fic, Butters did give cheek to his parents **and** to his teacher, but he was only digging his grave deeper. He also remembered how his parents chained him up in the cellar, believing that he was a zombie after he faked his suicide. What can I say, Butters has weird parents.

Then Butters had a brilliant, spectacular idea. His dad **did** say he was going to burn his costume, but the furnace broke down. Butters was locked in his room, but as I said, the adults of South Park were inferior to their children. He searched under his mattress and unveiled a key.

He unlocked the door and sneaked downstairs. His parents were in bed so he was not worried. He was also not worried as his parents didn't bother install an alarm system. He opened the door to the cellar and steadily climbed down the stairs. His cellar was creepy (which is why us **Irish** people don't bother with cellars, unlike the **Americans**), but not as creepy as Butters' parents. He sauntered over to the furnace and lifted up the guard. He gathered his costume and closed the guard. He looked at the furnace.

It doesn't seem broken to me, thought Butters. He looked around the area behind the furnace and found that the plug was not inserted properly into its socket. Butters thought for a moment. He originally wanted to flood the house, but something really evil came to mind. He hesitated for a moment. Not **even** Professor Chaos would do something like that (probably because Professor Chaos is a total woos). But is this **not** the best compensation for all his parents' crimes against him? After all, it **would** take a few years out of Butter's parent's time in Hell.

So Butters climbed into the furnace and closed the guard behind him. A few seconds later, he came out as...

...**PROFESSOR CHAOS** (man, that's annoying)!

Professor Chaos inserted the plug properly into the socket and turned on the furnace. He set the dial to the highest amount of heat the furnace could produce. Professor Chaos smiled at his work and rushed over to the window where he climbed out of. He rushed over to fence and looked behind him. He gave out an evil laugh. Then he climbed over the fence and into the woods, where he disappeared into.

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**So what will happen to Butters' parents? And what will happen to Butt- er I mean – **_**Professor Chaos**_**? Find out in the next chapter.**


	4. Butters Meets My OCs

**Sorry for the big delay, but I had far too many homework to do (which is obviously as useless as tits in a bull), but enough of this. I'm back on track. This chapter is where my OC's come into this fan fic. Check out my profile for info on them. I do not own South Park.**

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The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Meets My OCs

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Mrs Stotch awoke in a jolt. She had a nightmare that her house went up in flames. Now, all she wanted to do was to wake up, make breakfast and go to work. Unfortunately for her, as her eyes swallowed her surroundings, it immediately occurred to her that **that** would be the dream.

She screamed as she stared at her burning house in horror. She turned her head and saw her husband running towards her. She got to her feet and ran towards him. They wrapped their arms around their necks tightly.

"Oh, Stephen, I thought I'd lost you!" cried Mrs Stotch.

"So did I, Linda," sobbed Mr Stotch, crying like a feckin' eejit, "so did I!"

"Where's Butters?" asked Mrs Stotch.

"I don't know," sighed Mr Stotch. "The firemen came to get him while they were rescuing us. They told me he wasn't in his room. They say he must've..." Mr Stotch paused melodramatically and whispered: "**escaped**."

"He **WHAT**?" shrieked Mrs Stotch.

"I know how you feel, and how much I want to ground him for running away as you do," Mr Stotch sighed again. "The little bastard could've waited until the firemen came, but he didn't, Linda! He **DIDN'T**!"

Come to think of it, where **was** Butters?

* * *

Well, not a million miles away, **PROFESSOR CHAOS** was in D.C., plotting his revenge.

"HAW! HAW! HAW!" laughed Professor Chaos. "Now scream as I egg the **White House**! HAW! HAW! HAW!"

So Professor Chaos opened a carton of eggs and aimed one of the eggs at the White House, and fired. It was a very good shot indeed, but the egg sailed throw an open window and landed in a bowl which the President's personal chef was using to bake a cake. Professor Chaos continued to do this until he was all out of eggs, but each egg he threw landed in the same bowl. At least the chef has six more eggs. Professor Chaos realised this when no one came up to him. He signed and headed back to the shop to buy another egg carton.

After going through all the trouble of walking for five minutes to the shop, a horrible sight met Professor Chaos's eyes as he checked his purse, only to find not even a penny left. Phooey, thought Professor Chaos as he closed his purse and put it back in his pocket. Maybe he could go shoplifting. After all, he** did **deliberately burn down his parents' house, so what harm could he do stealing a half a dozen eggs anyway?

So Professor Chaos slipped into the shop and headed towards the aisle where one would find the eggs, when he heard the sound of a van vigorously pulling in outside the door. A teenage girl dressed in black barged into the shop: sack in one hand; gun in other.

"ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE PUT YER HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND STAND STILL!" barked the girl, pointing her gun at random shoppers. When everybody in the building followed her commands, she marched up to the counter and pointed her gun at the cashier. "THIS IS A STICK-UP! GIMME DA MONEY!"

Not wanting to disappoint his boss, the cashier slowly motioned his left hand towards the button that sets of the alarm. But he was no match for the teenage girl. She selected a random child and held the gun to his temple.

"YOU PUSH THAT BUTTON AND I'LL PULL DA TRIGGER, GOT IT, BUB?" she bellowed. "MAY I REMIND YOU THAT THIS CHILD IS **NOT** LIKE THAT ORANGE KID FROM _SOUTH PARK_?"

"You mean **Kenny**?" asked the hostage.

For a few moments there was a terrible silence. The thug gazed at her hostage.

Butters! ...wearing that silly costume again.

The thug didn't care if her hostage was a **prophet**. Her fingers were getting itchy.

"IF YOU DON'T GIMME THAT MONEY, THEN THAT STUPID SHOW WILL BE **CANCELLED**!" snarled the girl. "**FOREVER**!"

The cashier had no choice. He took the sack and filled it to the top with cash. All of sudden, it hit the girl. She snatched the sack from the cashier' hands and looked in. She took her head out of the sack. She was angry.

"YOU **CALL** THIS MONEY?" she exclaimed.

"Yes," the cashier replied.

"OH YEAH?" snarled the girl. "DO **YOU** SEE A EURO SIGN? **I **DON'T SEE A EURO SIGN?"

The cashier was confused. "Uh, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, ma'am," he stammered.

"WHAT IS THIS?" howled the thug. "IT LOOKS LIKE MONOPOLY MONEY TO **ME**!"

The cashier got scared. "Frankly, it is **dollars**, ma'am," he stammered.

The thug calmed down a bit. She realised that this money would buy her squat in **her** country. But there was no way whatsoever she was going to let Butters go. She needed a hostage.

"Very well," said the thug, calmly. "I shall leave immediately. But don't even **think** about reporting this to the guards. Your favourite TV show is on a very thin line with me!"

She handcuffed Butters and ushered him into a van parked outside the shop.

"GET IN THERE!" she barked, throwing Butters into the van.

She hoped into the driver's seat and floored it.

Butters looked around him and to his surprise; he wasn't the only hostage in the van. He could see five teenagers. One of them stood up.

"Hello," said the teenager. "My name is Fionn McRon. But you can call me Fido."

"_Professor Chaos_ doesn't negotiate with OCs," hissed Butters.

"Too bad," said Fido. He pointed towards two teenage OCs by the door. "These are my friends: Oisin Flannigan and Aidin Mathers. Everyone say hi."

"Hi," said Oisin and Aidin in unison.

Fido pointed towards a red-headed girl sitting in the corner. "This is my arch-enemy, Cleo McBossyboots," said Fido.

Cleo looked up from her book. She was not happy with the situation she was in. "Fionn, how many times do your parents have to tell you to stop pointing at people? I'm telling them on you for this. Oh, and look who we have here!" she added, glaring at Butters. "Take off that silly costume** immediately** or I'm calling your parents."

"But Cleo, if my parents find out that I took that costume from the furnace, I'll be grounded," whined Butters.

"You **WHAT**?" exclaimed Cleo. "That's it! I'm making Haddy head to South Park, Colorado and take you back home to your parents. You are in trouble, young man."

"Hey, lay off the poor child, bitch," snapped Oisin. "It's none of your business. And by the way, not in a million years would Haddy let us go."

"Who's Haddy?" asked Butters.

"The girl who is driving," said Aidin. "She kidnapped us because she needed a hostage. At **least** we wouldn't have to study for that crazy maths test Mrs Scratcher is holding."

"She's our evil teacher, by the way," said Fido.

"Why did she need a hostage?" asked Butters.

"She wanted to go to the US for a holiday, so she kidnapped us so she could rob banks in case she ran out of money before heading back to Ireland," said Fido.

"**IRELAND**?" gasped Butters. "But, but Fellas, if I go to Ireland, I'll get grounded!"

"Well you'll just have to come with us," sighed Aidin. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

A boy in another corner peed with his pants still on him all of a sudden.

"**That**," groaned Cleo.

"By the way, his name is Dick Green," said Fido. "Just stay away from him. He's a bit of a feckin' eejit."

"You said a curse!" gasped Cleo. "Ooh, I can't wait to tell your parents!"

Fido ignored her.

The journey continues until it reaches a sudden stop.

The same girl that kidnapped Butters yanks the door open.

"Right, we're at the airport," she barked. "Now follow me. If one of you guys tries to escape, I will shoot you!"

Haddy (who is the girl that kidnapped the teenagers) lead her hostages to the runway. The hostages followed her to an aeroplane with the logo _Aer Lingus_ printed on it. Using her superpowers, she unlocked the hatch and manipulated it to open.

"Get in," she commanded.

"But I don't want to," whined Butters.

"Don't you want to get back at all the mean people in your life?" asked Haddy. "Tell ya what, if you come with us, I'll make your parents** and** Cartman pay."

Butters thought for a moment. Sure, he **could** get in more trouble if he went to Ireland with some OCs he had just met. But the girl who had kidnapped him had made him an offer he could not refuse. And he now has the opportunity to get back at that fat ass who had fecked up his childhood and childhoods of other children. He would be doing himself a favour if he went to Ireland.

"Make way for **PROFESSOR CHAOS**!" chanted Butters, climbing up the ladder into the cargo area of the plane.

Rats, thought Haddy, disappointed that she could not use her gun. She was the last person of the group to get in the cargo area and manipulated the hatch to shut. Half an hour later, the plane took off.

Next stop, thought Professor Chaos, **Ireland**!

* * *

**What will PROFESSOR CHAOS do while he's in Ireland? And how will he relate to my OCs? Find out in the next chapter.**


	5. Butters Gets Caught

**Warning: My OC, Haddy, may appear to some as being a Mary-Sue. Well, she was only bragging. She is not exactly the strongest in the world. I mean, Chuck Norris and, of course, God and the prophets, are stronger than her. The only reason she's gone far is because she only victimises antagonists and she's got all the support she needs from society. Plus the fact that she is, in fact, among the strongest in the world (well, she is fictional, but still). So please do not mistake her for being a Mary-Sue.**

**I do not own South Park.**

* * *

The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Gets Caught

* * *

The plane lands in Shannon Airport. Butters – er, I mean – _PROFESSOR CHAOS_ and my OCs sneak out of the plane and into the airport.

"Why did you steal the money when all you had to do was to hide in the plane?" demanded Fido.

"In case I decided to visit America again," said Haddy. "All this money would be very useful, as I won't have to sacrifice all those all too important Euros for such crud."

"So, how do we take over the world?" asked Butters.

"Follow me," said Haddy. She turned to the other OCs and said: "And the rest of ye can go piss off and stop annoying me. You all have a test to study for."

The other OCs groaned angrily. Haddy whisked them away.

Butters followed Haddy to a very expensive looking car and the two drive off.

"Whoa, where did you get this car?" asked Butters.

"I stole it," said Haddy.

"You stole it?" gasped Butters.

"Relax, I have superhuman strength," Haddy assured him. "No adult in authority can tell **me** what to do and live."

"I **guess** so," said Butters, hopefully.

A few hours later, Haddy pulled outside Mountjoy Prison. Butters was confused and asked Butters what was going on. Haddy told him that she needed another hostage to put Butters' plan into action. Unsurprisingly, Butters did not hesitate to believe her. He followed her as she broke into the prison. He followed her down rows of cells. Some of the prisoners were annoying her about how hot she was, so she shot them in the legs to shut them up. Their journey stopped outside an empty cell.

"Why are we stopping at this empty cell?" asked Butters.

"Go," said Haddy.

"What do you mean, "go"?" demanded Butters. "I thought you were looking for another hostage."

"I said, "Go"!" snapped Haddy.

Very reluctantly, Butters walked into the cell. Haddy closed and looked the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" demanded Butters.

"You didn't think I was going to stop you from taking over the world, did you?" said Haddy, evilly.

"I suppose," said Butters. "But this world owes me big after what I've been through."

"**This** world?" said Haddy. "You mean this **whole** wide world?"

"Yes," Butters replied.

"I thought it was **just** your parents that needed some revenge," said Haddy.

"Hey, my parents were definitely mean to me, but they weren't the **only** culprits!" Butters was getting angry.

"Why, what did other people do to you?" asked Haddy, rolling her eyes.

"My original fourth grade teacher punished me for making faces in my school photograph," Butters began. "But I **actually** looked normal, except that parts of my hair stood up. But I could not control that. Anyways, my parents made me where a paper bag over my head because thought I was making faces, when in actual fact, it was what my face looked like when I'm **not** making faces. But they were just too stubborn to listen to me."

"Aw, **poor** Butters," said Haddy, rolling her eyes. "Carry on."

"I hung out with Stan, Kyle and Eric to fill the void when Kenny was temporarily dead at the beginning of Season 6," said Butters. "I put myself through all this trouble just so they could get their way. I got blamed when my 'friends' got away with their crimes when their plans went wrong. And for what? After a few episodes of torture, they abandoned me and acted like it was all **my** fault everything went wrong. All I did was give and give, and all they did was take and take!

"In another episode, my 'friends' tp'd the art teacher's house. Officer Barbrady interrogated me and tortured me to the point that I had no choice but to pin the crime on myself. My parents came to collect me and they grounded me as if I confessed for no reason. I tried to explain, but as usual, they refused to listen. The culprits later confessed after they visited me in jail. They also tricked me into believing that I was sleepwalking and wrote a profane book. I ended up writing a sequel which drove a reader insane and killed all the characters of my favourite TV show."

"So basically, what you're saying is," Haddy began, "it is the people of **South Park** who are to blame?"

"Yes, but I bet that the **whole** world is just like South Park," said Butters.

"It is only in South Park where the children are superior to the adults," said Haddy. "You **may** have been evil in the previous life, so as punishment, your current life sucks."

"Well that means that your next life will suck," said Butters.

"I am only evil when I need to be," said Haddy. "The whole world knew about your evil plan. So I was assigned to stop you from doing that. I was only doing my job. And in case you are wondering **how** they knew, they've seen it all on _South Park_."

"Oh," said Butters.

"Well, your parents did deserve to have their house burnt down," Haddy admitted. "But all you did was make them angrier. They're after you now, and they want to have you euthanized. This is another reason why I kidnapped you. The UN wants to protect you from your parents."

"Does this mean I can live somewhere else?" asked Butters.

"No, you'll still have to live with your parents until South Park has ceased production, as punishment for your actions," said Haddy. "But don't worry, when it's all over, we will place you in any home you want. Who knows, you won't have to live in South Park anymore."

Butters thought for a moment. Although he dreams of abandoning South Park for good, he cannot bear another second in Hell with the Stotch family. It would **still** be worth trying to take over the world. After all, his parents can't keep him in South Park for ever, right?

* * *

**Find out what decision Butters decides to make in Chapter Six.**


	6. Butters Escapes

**Just a warning: this chapter, as with the upcoming chapters, make references to the IRA. I apologise to anyone who gets offended by this.**

**I do not own South Park.**

* * *

The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Escapes

* * *

"I choose to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" barked Butters. "And my decision is **final**!"

Haddy shrugged. "Have it your way." She unlocked the cell. "If you want to get captured by the UN and get sent back to your parents in disgrace, I can't make decisions for you. After all, you'd be the luckiest human being who ever lived if you managed to rule this **cell**!"

Haddy left the area as if she did not care about what decision Butters had made. All she could ever care about is not letting some fecking eejit take over the world.

Butters – or should I say: **PROFESSOR CHAOS**! – was pleased with himself. He now has the opportunity to take over the world and establish a kingdom. And his first order of business will be to have his parents crucified in public. Professor Chaos liked the sound of that.

After leaving Mountjoy Prison (since Haddy didn't bother lock the cell) Professor Chaos saw a bus that appeared to be heading for Northern Ireland. Suddenly, he finally came up with a plan to follow his dreams. It couldn't be any simpler (**obviously**).

Professor Chaos also saw a few prisoners being carted off to an ambulance. They were probably the same ones which Haddy shot for mocking how big her boobs were.

When no-one was looking, Professor Chaos climbed into the luggage compartment. After a two hour drive, the Bus stopped at Enniskillen. Professor Chaos climbed out of the compartment when no-one was looking, and set off to find an organisation which one **would** associate with taking over the world.

Professor Chaos continued searching for the organisation until he found himself down an alleyway. He saw a shadow. He got scared. The shadow came closer to him. Professor Chaos took out a knife from which he stole from one of the prisoners.

A voice said: "Hey kid! Aren't you a little too **young** to be playing with cutlery?"

Butters dropped the knife (**and yes, he's Butters again!**) and froze. The shadow came closer until he saw a man in army-styled uniform with a gun in his hand. He aimed it at the child and said: "What are you doing here, kid? Shouldn't you be at school?"

"But...but...I'm a **foreigner**," Butters replied.

"So?" said the man. "Foreign kids go to school too! The only kids who don't go to school are the **travellers**!"

"Isn't that a bit **racist**?" asked Butters.

"Don't you correct me you little brat!" snapped the man. "You don't seem to realise how **dangerous** I am, do you? Well, you can die if you **want**!"

"No," said Butters. "I want to **live**. In fact, **all** I want apart from that is to take over the world."

The man lowered his gun. "Is that what you want?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Butters.

The man was shocked. "Whoa, **I'm** a member of an organisation that wants to unite Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, while **you** want to rule the **whole wide world**," he said. Then he thought for a moment.

"How would you like to join our organisation?" asked the man.

Butters thought for a moment too.

"I'd **love** it!" he beamed.

"Well, you would have to abandon your friends and family and disown everything you have," said the man.

"Oh yeah, well my "_friends_" and "_family_" can all go _**fuck**_ themselves!" said Butters, firmly.

"Well good for you," said the man. "You may have to learn how to live an independent life, because we're not **babysitters**. But don't worry, we'll get there. So are you ready?"

"Yes SIR!" said Butters, obediently.

"Let's go," said the man.

And so, Professor Chaos followed the man to his secret location.

And best of all, he has also found the organisation that he was looking for:

The **Irish Republican Army**.

* * *

**Okay, so it would be wrong to trust some IRA men with a nine-year-old boy. I hate the IRA to the point that they all should be imprisoned for the rest of their lives. Twice as bad as Butters' parents they are, and that's saying something. But thanks to Butters' parents, the child has gone berserk, so be aware of that. I'll see you guys in the next update.**


	7. Butters Joins The IRA

**This chapter is slightly more offensive than the last. Again, I am apologetic for any inconvenience.**

**I know I keep saying this, but I DO NOT own South Park.**

* * *

The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Joins the IRA

* * *

The man leads Butters - wait, why the hell do I keep calling him Butters? From now on, it's either Professor Chaos or Faggot! I meant faggot as in silly, childish and effeminate, I'm not homophobic or any of that cult-related shit – to his jeep. They drove off to somewhere around the other end of some mountain. The jeep stopped at a dead end. The man says something in Irish. Suddenly, the two boulders opposite the bonnet of the jeep pull open automatically and the man drives into the secret passage-way behind the rocks. The passage-way was a long tunnel, and after a long time, it leads into a large room filled with loads of people in military uniform. The jeep parks in a row of other jeeps, which is presumed to be the garage.

"This is where we work," said the man.

"Cool," said Professor Chaos in awe.

The man showed Professor Chaos around and gave him information about how they want to take over the United Kingdom and stuff.

"Wait," said Professor Chaos, "I thought you fellas only wanted to unite Northern Ireland with the rest of Ireland. And I also thought that you guys have announced a ceasefire."

"That's what everyone has thought," said the man. "You see, to make Ireland a 32-county republic, we'd have to take over the rest of the United Kingdom so the British Government can't intervene."

"But, what if the EU intervenes," protested Professor Chaos.

"Then we'll just have to take over the world," said the man.

Professor Chaos was shocked. "The **world**?"

"Yes, the world," said the man.

"Well in **that** case, I hope you guys have the tools," said Professor Chaos.

"As a matter of fact, we **do**," the man replied. "Want to come see it?"

"Okay," said Professor Chaos.

"Then come this way."

And so, Professor Chaos followed the man to a secret layer. After walking a mile of metal bridges, pass-codes and all that other Star-Trek shit, they finally arrived in a large room which hoarded an enormous metal device.

"Whoooooooooa," gasped Professor Chaos. "What is **that**?"

"That," said the man "is an atomic bomb. Like the bomb America dropped on Hiroshima in Japan. And we are going to drop it."

"Where?" asked Professor Chaos.

"London."

"**London**?"

"Yes, London."

Professor Chaos thought for a moment. If they dropped the bomb, millions of people will die. So maybe halving England's population may not be a good idea.

"How 'bout we drop it somewhere in America?" suggested Professor Chaos.

* * *

**Oh, Butters is VERY evil. Just wait until Chapter Eight!**


	8. Butters Drops the Bomb

**The moment you've all been waiting for.**

* * *

The Revenge of Professor Chaos

Butters Drops the Bomb

* * *

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were at Kyle's house watching telly, when all of a sudden...

**KABLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIE!**

...they heard an explosion.

The four decided to look outside from the window. A horrible sight met their eyes.

The town of South Park was in ruins.

"Oh Jesus Christ!" gasped Stan, starry eyed.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in some IRA base in Northern Ireland, Professor Chaos and the man were watching the fireworks from their 14inch standard definition telly, which had a missing remote control.

"Well," beamed Professor Chaos, evilly, "now I finally have my revenge!"

"It was a good idea, Professor Chaos," beamed the man, smacking Professor Chaos a high five.

Unfortunately for them (and fortunately for us), their celebration was cut short. Someone has been spying on them, as both the U.S. military, the British military and the Irish military have invaded.

"Aw, crap!" groaned the man.

* * *

Back at South Park, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman walked around in South Park with horror in their eyes. Buildings have been burnt to the ground. People are dying. The people who weren't dying were looting.

* * *

Back at the base, Professor Chaos and the man were tied up after all their comrades had been killed. A girl in her late teens walked up to them.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't **Butters Stotch **and **Eric Chin**," said the Girl.

"H-h-how did you know my name?" the man stammered.

Haddy (who was the girl) walked up to the man and tore off his human-like mask to reveal a brown teddy bear, who was also in his late teens.

"And I also know you from prison!" Haddy snarled at Butters (I no longer have to call him Professor Chaos anymore). Haddy turned to Eric Chin and said: "Why did you do it?"

"You want to know why?" growled Eric Chin. "Every time something went wrong or whenever I did whatever the others were doing, I was the scapegoat. You mutherfuckers got away with everything because all ye had to do was say "Eric Chin" and bam! I was sent down to the principal's office. Even if we were a **million** miles away from the principal's office, ye would still send me down there. Did I even get a fair trial? Only in my **dreams**!"

"Well guess what," said Haddy.

"What?" asked Eric Chin.

"ERIC!" screamed Haddy, pointing towards the door. "GET DOWN TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!"

"But-" protested Eric Chin.

"NOOOWW!" howled Haddy.

Eric Chin managed to untie himself, grabbed his schoolbag, and before he left the area, he muttered under his breath: "Fuck!"

"Oh, and Butters?" said Haddy.

"Yeah?" asked Butters.

"As punishment, you will be spending the rest of your childhood in South Park with your **parents**," said Haddy, angrily.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Butters, frantically kicking the air around him. He was so busy kicking that he didn't realised that he had just kicked a button which, if pressed, would launch a missile towards the sun.

The missile was launched into space thanks to Butters, but it lost all its energy half-way up in the air. Within minutes it was heading towards South Park.

* * *

Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were sitting on a bench.

"Great, now what could be worse?" sighed Kyle.

All of a sudden, the missile that Butters had accidentally launched fired onto Kenny, blowing his body up into smithereens.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Stan. "THEY KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARD!" screamed Kyle.

Cartman laughed his head off. This angered Stan and Kyle.

"IT'S **NOT** FUNNY, FATASS!" hollered Stan.

"Your right; it's **HELLA** funny!" chuckled Cartman.

"SCOUNDRAL!" screamed Kyle. "TIME TO **DIE**!"

Kyle opened up a cage which was under his side of the bench. Out came:

Dick Green!

Cartman screamed and got up to run.

Dick, being the retard he is, chased after Cartman as if he was a dog. Stan and Kyle laughed their heads off at this.

* * *

"You know what, I'm outta here," said Haddy, flipping Butters off.

Suddenly, after Haddy's departure, Mr and Mrs Stotch showed up.

"BUTTERS!" snapped Mr Stotch.

"Oh no!" gasped Butters.

* * *

**There, finally, I'm done! I hope you all enjoyed it! Read my other stories as well!**

**By the way, if you have read this before the 19th of February, 2012, you will notice that I have removed sentences demanding more reviews from the disclaimer. For anyone who has been offended by this, I am sorry. So I refurbished the fic and it is good as new. To the reviewer who has criticised me for being greedy for more reviews while I was writing this fic at the first attempt, I have two words to say:**

**Thank you.**

**I am now aware that reviews are not everything, and people should only write stories for their own enjoyment. As long as these stories comply with the rules of the sight.**

**Thank you all for reading this story. I had fun writing it in early 2011 and refurbishing it in early 2012.**

**PEACE OUT HOME DOGS!**


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